Just fell off a train. Bad.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
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He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
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This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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