I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize