dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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