i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
