So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
