She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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