i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize