im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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