is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize