I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
