this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
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