I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
