how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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