Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
