she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
