Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
