my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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