I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
