Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Is it penis luge time yet?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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