party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
