i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
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He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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