she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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