O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.