it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
try lime green
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
That's how pantless uber rides happen