So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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