Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
