you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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