Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
