Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
