it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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