i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
How does it feel to date your dad?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize