Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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