so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
