I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
