Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Sext me about skeletons
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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