We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
