if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
its not stalking. its research.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
