He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
