Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
