My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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