Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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