so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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