kristin has been a bad kristin
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
