This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We need to get me chipped asap
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
