I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I love you.
Bad choice
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
