I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Randomize
