My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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