Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
