I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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