We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
