I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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