Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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