it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
