i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
