He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
