last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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