Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize