Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
