But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
