He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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