She said her name was "party"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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