he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
