so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
