Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
