it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
