If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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