My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
