you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
